Here’s the order I’d like to see them come out in.
Nikki She shouldn’t rightfully be in there because we voted her out once but I’m beginning to think it was a good idea putting her back in! Firstly, it’s cost Nikki fans a lot of money to do it and secondly, it’s shown her in her true colours: a spiteful, self-centred, shallow skank! As for the tantrums, well that joke just isn’t funny anymore. If the bookies are to believed she’s fighting to hold on to fourth place!
Jennie I’ve not really formed any opinion of her. Maybe she hasn’t been in the house long enough or maybe … she’s just boring!
Glynn I never really brought the gormless school boy act! I just think he’s a spoilt brat! People say he’s been on a journey during his time in the house but … well, I’d just like to see him go on a journey back to Wales!
Richard He’s provide a lot of entertainment in the house and he managed to annoy the hell out of the Plastics but he’s got a bit of a nasty streak and he was pretty horrible to Shabaz!
Pete He’s a decent enough person but he’s just coasted through the show! So I don’t think he deserves to win! And the stuff about his dead friend coming down from Heaven to tell him he should win the prize sounds a bit odd to say the least, considering he’s spent the last thirteen weeks saying he wasn’t interested in material things!
Which leaves Aisleyne! So why should you vote for Aisleyne? Grace Dent sums it up nicely in her blog.
From around day 56, I had my eye on Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace as a person I thought had the qualities to win. Regardless of what anybody thinks of Ash, whether she’s moody, emotional or just a “tart”, the fact is, there is no other housemate who has weathered as many storms or progressed as far as Ash has during BB7.
Crucially, there is not one other housemate surviving who could have coped with everything that’s been chucked at her since day 12 without escaping in hysterics via the back door. Maybe Richard, although direct attacks really do unsettle him.
Ash arrived at a disadvantage on day 12, with the cliques in full swing, with only Sam, a clingy transsexual, as her true contemporary. Sam was no use whatsoever as a support for Ash – in fact she was a further emotional leech.
Within minutes, Grace, Sezer and Mikey had Ash carved up as a “common slag” who “looks like ET”. Their instant hatred of Ash, based on her looks and her class, couldn’t have been more blatant. It was sink or swim for Ash from the very start. Ash swam.
She took on Sezer (where everyone else had failed), put on her best Elsie Tanner face, toughened her “ghetto girl” armour and fronted them all out. It sent the Plastics ballistic.
I remember putting on the live feed on day 13 and watching Ash, not cowering in the bedroom, but sitting bold as brass on the sofa in a skimpy mini-dress, smoking a fag and looking like Lily Savage on a day off, laughing heartily with Lea. “Good for you, lass,” I thought. Weeks of upset ensued as the women squabbled and bickered.
When Golden Girl Susie arrived, I respected Ash for upholding the clearly risible, archaic view that an older woman’s maturity, experience and wisdom is something worthy of respect. Imagine that?!
Sadly, 43-year-old Susie’s treatment at the hands of all the other younger women, like Nikki and Grace, was nothing short of disgusting. I hope it haunts them in later years when their “sell-by date” looms closer.
When Grace and Nikki stole Susie’s belongings and did their war dance, Ash burst into tears with frustration. When Grace chucked water in Susie’s face on eviction night, Ash was the only person to shout forcefully at Grace in the heat of the incident. And she didn’t accompany Grace to the door to give her a cheery goodbye like everyone else.
Ash then had to endure being called an “arse-licking slag” by Mikey for a further week. To date, Ash is the only person I have ever seen take Grace to task over the water incident. Richard was a pure letdown. All that Ash has gleaned from any of this is a reputation as a troublemaker.
I like the way Ash has a variety of silly laughs – each one more stupid than the last one – from amused walrus to asthmatic hyena. I like the way she sings like Hilda Ogden when she’s doing the housework.
I like the way that she actually gets stuck in and does the housework, which is more than can be said for the rest of the dirty, lazy bunch who think skid marks and pubic hairs remove themselves.
I like the way she has a worse bad-boyfriend history than me. I like the way that every time you think she should be prime minister, she does something stupid and flawed like snogging Nikki during Spin the Bottle. Ash, why?!
I admire the way Ash eventually said to Lea what every single person in Britain thought about Lea’s creepy, suffocating hold on Pete. “You got a problem with me, Ash?” Lea quacked in front of the whole bedroom on day 43. Ash looked at her for a moment, then said: “Yeah, I have got a problem with you. I’m sick of you manipulating people in here and using emotional blackmail to get what you want.”
Lea was gobsmacked. A few days later, after three weeks of enduring Nikki’s tiresome, selfish tantrums, Ash was the very first person to speak up and say something. She only said one word, mind: “Boring.”
In both these instances, total carnage ensued. I’ve never seen anyone stand up to Nikki since. Ash has been painted for evermore as a “bully” and a “stirrer”, vilified in every tabloid and spin-off show and presented as the “unpopular BB7 bitch”. It’s all fabulously, gorgeously ironic.
Personally, rather than being a bitch, I actually think Ash is a vision of restraint. By day 43, if either Lea or Nikki had said: “Got a problem with me?” I would have still been talking them expressively through “my problems” as the policewomen handcuffed me, tied my feet together and carried me to the riot van.
Every eviction night people have turned up to scream “Get Ash out!” during Davina’s links. That must have been a nice feeling keeping Ash warm in bed for 80 nights. Eventually, Ash was “evicted”. She reached the top of the stairs, her legs buckling under her, then was brought back in and placed in a secret house with five new housemates whom she was forced to evict one by one.
I still believe Ash going back into the real house one week later in her addled, sobbing state was one of the lowest moments in reality-TV history ever. She bounced back, of course – she always does. What a bloody summer this girl has had.
Obviously, since then, we’ve enjoyed Spiral’s unwanted advances (“Ash is a prikkktease!” squealed the Trashleen hatterz), the machiavellian test-result saga, the audition-VT drama. We’ve enjoyed Grace Adams-Short being brought back into the house purposefully to take Ash on. To Ash’s credit here, she held her own during the circus show and admonished Grace again about attacking Susie.
Meanwhile, Pete hid by the urinals pretending to have found something extra fascinating in his groin region, which needed 21 minutes of examination. So brave.
Maybe Pete had found another celestial message down there telling him he was God’s chosen winner. Because, let’s face it, if Pete takes the prize tonight, it will certainly feel like a load of old balls.
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