Pete won the award for funniest moment for falling in the Pool, the best diary room moment for his disco session, best screen kiss for swapping saliva with Nikki and best task as well for the song writing competition! Are you beginning to see a pattern here yet?.
The most emotional scene went to Richard for receiving his letter from home during the prison task. Best argument was won by Aisleyne and Nikki … the “You better know yourself, little girl” one.
The awards in the house were followed by a rather predictable tantrum from Pwincess Nikki who bawled her eyes out for several minutes demanding an award of her own! Sharing two with other people evidently wasn’t good enough for her!
It was then back to the live action and Davina introduced the ex-housemates; first up, Shabaz and Bonnie. Poor Shabaz, he seems to have an uncanny ability to say the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong person. “Davina, I hope you have a son and make yourself and your husband very happy!” said Shabaz. “We’ll be very happy with a daughter!” replied Davina!
Next were horse face Grace and non comedy Scouser Mikey. “Any magazine deals yet?” asked Davina with no hint of sarcasm. “Well, me and lovely Graaaaaaciiiiiiiieeeee were in S-Heat today!” beamed the Scouser proudly proving that there is money to be made flogging dead horses. Grace apparently is head over heels in lurve … just not with Mikey though!
Also, on the walk of shame were Jonathan and Jayne who burped, Imogen and Suzie, Michael and Spiral. Davina jokingly offered the crap rapper a sloice, not a wise move considering his behaviour to Aisleyne. Spioral and the Aisleyne haterz will be calling her a Prikteazer next! Scruples, Michaels flea bitten stuffed moggy friend, failed to make an appearance as it had been quarantined by a government bio-hazard team, as had his evil underpants, probably!
Following on were not nice but dim George and Sam. I wonder what George was doing there? I thought he couldn’t handle the fame!
And then finally Lea and Lisa! Lea’s boobs unbelievably looked even more humungous then before. “It’s me dress” she moaned.
After the ex-housemates had taken their places, Davina spoke to the house for the first time that evening to announce the first housemate to leave. It was … Jennie who got 0.9% of the public vote! Jennie’s interview was as uninspiring as her time in the house. Although, we did learn that her boyfriend wrestles cages or something!
It was now time to learn who had come fifth.
“Big Brother house this is Davina. You are live on channel 4, please do not swear! Aisleyne, Glyn, Nikki, Pete and Richard! The votes have been counted and verified and I can know reveal that the person finishing in fifth place is … “.
Aisleyne was convinced that it was going to be her; “Say my name Davina, say my name babe! Say my name, say my name babe”.
” … Nikki! Nikki say your goodbyes, I’m coming to get you” continued Davina!
This moment got a huge cheer at “Why did I go wrong” HQ. Nikki had a “that’s not in the script” moment and Aisleynes face was a picture too.
I was one of the 2000 or so people that wrote in to OFCOM and ICTSIS to complain about Big Brother/Endomol when they gave the rejects the opportunity to go back in the house but given Nikki’s dismal share of the vote, 6.5%, I’m coming around to thinking that they did us all a favour.
- It cost Nikki fans a lot of money to put her back in.
- If she hadn’t gone back in, they would have droned on and on about how she could have won if only she’d got to the final week! Now they know different.
- And finally, coming fifth out of six has probably killed of any chance of her enjoying a z-list celebrity career. Hurrah! Although, she could probably do with a stint on Supernanny.
During her exit and what passed for an interview, Nikki clearly looked as if she’d gone bonkers and produced another cringingly funny moment! When she asked Davina if they were going to show her best bits, the harsh reply was, “No, you haven’t got any”.
Richard was fourth with 9.2% of the vote!
In third place with 22% was top girl, Aisleyne! I thought Davina was a bit condescending during her interview. “Actually to be fair, Aisleyne, you did cry more than any other housemate …”. Well, duh! Big Brother and the other housemates put her through more crap then anyone else in there. Given the hatchet job Big Brother/Endomol did on her, it’s great that she was in the final three and as far as I’m concerned she was the real winner of the night!
Glyn came second with 38.8%. During the course of the show, Glyn learnt how to cook an egg, how to get binge drunk and honk his guts up, all about women from his mate Mikey (Yes, the Mikey that’s shacked up with Grace just so that he can get a few magazine deals and cling on to z-list celebrity a little bit longer) and … that’s about it … oh and he learnt to wear dog tags and a beanie hat! A real journey, apparently! He also developed a taste for lap dances from silicon enhanced blondes and wanked off live on national tv into a condom which he then left in the diary room for Big Brother to dispose off. All this makes him an e role model for Welsh youth, according to Rhodri Morgan, First Minister for Wales. I guess he didn’t actually watch the show! GAH!
And then there was one! Pete got the title with staggering 61.2% of the vote! I suppose it was inevitable really. He was favourite from day one! I found his winner speech a little disturbing though!
“Last year,” he told Davina, “I was absolutely at the end of my tether with life and I had a huge visit from my mate in heaven and he showed me a spiral and at the top was heaven and the only way to remember who I was, was to go on Big Brother and win. That’s the only way to find who I was.”
No wonder he kept his gob shut for most of the show!
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