Everything you ever wanted to know about Trinny and Susannah

Everything you ever wanted to know about Trinny Woodhall and Susannah Constantine but were afraid to ask, as gleaned from The Truth about Trinny and Susannah (Channel 5, 22/09/06).

• Trinny Woodhall is the skinny one.
• Susannah Constantine is the fat one.
• They are both very posh.
• They both attended the posh Queens Gate private school in South Kensington but not at the same time.
• Susannah was engaged to Viscount David Linley, a posh bloke, who is the son of Princess Margaret.
• Susannah, allegedley, had a wardrobe malfunction with a dress she was wearing causing one of her boobs to be exposed while she was having dinner with the Queen.
• One of them has been in rehab.
• They both started a dot com company called Ready2Shop.com. The poster campaign called “Melons and Eggs” for their company was banned by the London Underground and got them onto page 3 of The Sun. Unfortunately, this was not enough to stop it going (bad pun alert) bust and losing it’s investors about ten million pounds.

  

• Trinny and Susannah were made into a cheeky cartoon titled “Schoolgirl Torments With Fatty And Skinny” in Viz comic. In the strip they were portrayed as school bullies who pick on those less fashionable than themselves. But their games teacher had the last laugh – he made them run around in PE kits from Lost Property. Trinny and Susannah were not amused and threatened to sue Viz for defamation of character which resulted in the cartoon being withdrawn.
• They can be really rude. In one of their shows, they pulled off a woman’s knickers in front of a camera crew and presumably an audience of millions because the visible panty line of the … uhm … pants was ruining the look of the skirt that she was wearing. She was not suprisingly mortified and described it as the most embarassing moment of her life.
• They both appeared as a robot versions of themselves in the science fiction series Doctor Who in the episode Bad Wolf (2005), the robots Trine-e and Zu-Zana (voiced by the two presenters) were presenting a deadly futuristic version of What not to Wear.
• Sometimes they are too busy to pick the clothes for their shows themselves and let a stylist do it! Scandalous!
• Sometimes their franchized columns in newspaper are also written by ghost writers.
• They are apparently a global brand worth squillions of pounds.
• Every time a celebrity slags them off in the papers, it raises their profile even more and they get gazillions of pounds out it.
• Posh people don’t ever really dish the dirt on other posh people. The first rule of posh club is that you don’t ever talk about posh club. So there weren’t really that many revelations about the two on the show.