Watching TV so you don’t have to!
Ladies and Gentleman, after months in development and squillions of pounds in design work, I present to you the new London Olympics 2012 logo.
Others however have likened the image to cartoon character, Lisa Simpson, giving London a blow job. Oh dear. I’m sorry. But, it does look like that. And who, even the cleanest minded among us, is going to think anything else now?
Google are either suffering from existential angst or it’s Edvard Munch’s birthday.
This reminds me of a joke. This guy, he comes into a bar, walks up to the Bartender and says, “Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I’m gonna bet you three hundred dollars that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a single solitary drop.” The Bartender says.. Now one more time this glass is like a good ten feet away.. he says, “Now wait a minute. Let me get this straight. You’re trying to tell me you’re gonna bet me three hundred dollars that you can piss standing over here way over there, into that glass, and not spill a single drop?” The guy looks up smiling and says, “That’s right.” The Bartender says, “Young man you got a bet!” The guy says, “O.K. here we go, here we go.” He pulls out his thing. He’s looking at the glass, man he’s thinking about the glass, he’s thinking about the glass, he thinks glass, he’s thinking of the glass, think glass, thinking about his dick. D*ck, glass. D*ck, glass. D*ck, glass. Be the glass. D*ck, glass. D*ck, glass. D*ck, glass. And then woosh! He let’s it rip! And he’s… he’s pissin all over the place, man! He’s pissin on the bar… he’s pissin on the stools, on the floor, on the phone.. on the Bartender.. He’s pissing Everywhere EXCEPT the f*cking glass!! Right. Ok, so, Bartender, He’s laughing his f*cking ass off, he’s three hundred dollars richer. He’s like, “Ha Ha Ha.” Piss dripping off his face. “Ha Ha Ha Ha” He says, “You f*ckin’ idiot, man. You pissed everywhere except the glass!! You owe me three hundred dollars punta.” And he goes, “Excuse me, just one, one second.” Goes in the back of the bar, and in the back there’s a couple of guys playing pool. He walks over to them… (whispers) Comes back to the bar and goes, “Here you go Mr. Bartender, three.” And the Bartender’s like, “What the f*ck are you so happy about, you just lost three hundred dollars you idiot?!” The guy says, “Well, you see those guys over there. I just bet them five hundred dollars a PIECE, that I could piss on your bar, piss on your floor, piss on your phone, and piss on YOU, and not only would you be not mad about it.. you’d be happy…” (Laughs) That’s some funny sh*t huh! (Laughs) You’d be happy! [Pick-up Guy (played by Quentin Tarantino) in the film Desperado]
I’ve lived in Levenshulme for ages and hadn’t realised there was an Art Gallery just round the corner. It’s called Bankley Studios’ Gallery just off Chapel Street. They’re presenting selected work by studio members this week (14th to 22nd October) to celebrate their tenth anniversary. It’s worth a visit. More details here. The photo below is one of the pieces I liked, Morph contemplates the futility of human existence! Of course, it probably wasn’t called that but it should have been.
If Dr Gillian McKeith ever decides to give up being a nutritionist, she could always become an artist. Last night’s You are what you eat (Channel 4, 11/10/06, 8:30pm) featured a life size 18 stone statue made entirely from burger meat. I suspect that it wouldn’t have looked out of place next to Damien Hirst’s “The physical impossibility of death in the mind of someone living” and I bet it was probably a lot tastier too!
I decided to take a break from watching TV on Friday and went to the Installation de Feu event at Platt Fields in Fallowfield, Manchester. At the entrance, there was a sign that read “Fire is hot and may burn” which was … uhm … useful advice given the amount of naked flame there was at the event.
There were fire lanterns hung on tree branches and on ropes between trees, machines like little steam engines belching out fire, fire and water sculptures and most spectacular of all three huge globes decked out with even more fire lanterns. The great balls of fire were a bit wobbly according to Spinneyhead although I didn’t get close enough to find out.
There was a band there too who played avant jazz and looked a little like the Blues Brothers.
Everyone at the event seemed to have a camera or a camera phone but then I suppose fire is very photogenic.
Installation de Feu by Compagnie Carabosse (from France) is the final event in the Enchanted Evenings season by Streets Ahead who also organised Theater Titanick at the Castlefield arena earlier this year.
Installation de Feu is not a ‘show’ that you watch, more an ‘environment’ made up of thousands of pots of fire, formed into patterns and sculptures, like Christmas lights, Christmas tree decorations, sculptures and shapes. Every night the artists will stroll around lighting up different areas, working with water as well as fire, and playing music to lure you towards different areas of the park.
September 28 – 30, every evening from 7 – 11pm (last entrance 10pm) in Platt Fields park, Fallowfield, Manchester.
Naughty guerilla artist Banksy has been taking copies of Paris Hilton’s new CD from record shops and replacing them with his own doctored version. The replacement CDs feature a defaced sleeve and remixes with titles such as Why am I Famous?, What Have I Done? and What Am I For? About five hundred copies of the CD have been randomly placed in forty two shops across the UK!
So far no one has returned one!
BBC Article: Paris Hilton targeted in CD prank
There’s going to be a free festival this Saturday over in Ancoats New Islington. There will be music, arts, fireworks and Herbie the Treehead Dinosaur, apparently. Click here for more info.
I’ve been working on developing the Bureau Gallery website over the last week so I’ve not had time to update this blog as frequently as I’d have liked. However, now that it’s launched I can get back to ranting about Big Brother. 
SHAMELESS PLUG: I work as a freelance web developer so if you want to hire me to set up a blog or a develop a website let me know.
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