Under the heading “You’ll never see it my way, because you’re not me” on her website, Britney Spears is asking us for help in naming her upcoming album.
Two of the choices – “Integrity” and “Dignity” – are probably the result of the same wishful thinking that lead to Britney’s last perfume being named “In Control”. Another two – “What if the joke is on you” and “Down Boy” were clearly created by picking random post-rehab buzzwords out of a hat, a technique previously used by Robbie Williams’ to produce the likes of “Intensive Care” and “Rudebox”.
But my money is on the remaining choice, which probably just says it all, “Omg is Like Lindsay Lohan Like Okay Like”.
It seems as though Paris Hilton has finally gotten over the party lifestyle that has made her famous. After just a few days behind bars, she has found God and claims that she’s “not the same person I was.” This all according to interview legend Barbara Walters, who got a phone interview with the heiress earlier this week.
“I used to act dumb. It was an act. I’m 26 years old, and that act is no longer cute. It is not who I am, nor do I want to be that person for the young girls who looked up to me.”
She has decided to take the new chance that God has given her to make a difference in this world. One of the ways she plans to do this is by building a “Paris Hilton Playhouse” for sick children. “I know now that I can make a difference, that I have the power to do that,” she continued. “I have been thinking that I want to do different things when I am out of here. I have become much more spiritual.”
Meanwhile, PETA want the 26-year-old to become the face of their new campaign against the treatment of caged birds. Oh, the Irony!
The animal rights campaign group have written to Paris asking her to use her time behind bars to empathise with cooped up chickens.
PETA’s Dan Mathews said: “We’re asking Paris to narrate our Kentucky Fried Cruelty video showing how chickens are routinely crammed into tiny cages and suffer broken wings and legs. Unlike inmates at the jail in Los Angeles, these animals get no reprieve or medical treatment.”
“We have a good track record at reaching celebrities behind bars. When Martha Stewart was incarcerated we wrote to her and got a very friendly reply saying that she’d stopped wearing fur, and when she got sprung she narrated PETA’s anti-fur video.”
The planned slogan for Paris’ campaign video is “KFC – that’s not hot.”
Paris Hilton’s liberty has been short-lived – the socialite’s been sent back to jail to complete her full 45 day sentence.
The 26-year-old screamed for her mother at the end of a one hour hearing which ruled she must now complete her full jail term after originally being let out after three days on medical grounds.
Hilton sobbed the whole through the hearing in the Los Angeles court, before screaming, “It’s not right!” when she was told by Judge Sauer she would have to return to the Century Regional Detention Facility.
Judge Sauer, who originally sentenced Paris for failing to observe a drink-driving ban, said, “At no time did I approve of the defendant being released from custody to her home.
“I don’t know why the defendant could not be treated at Lynwood, because they have a great medical facility.”
Yesterday was the 74th birthday of Joan Collins who played the unforgettable Alexis Carrington (or Alexis Morrell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan to be precise) in Dynasty and that clearly must be celebrated.
In fact, I think the day should be marked as a National Holiday.
Celebrity maid beater has been sentenced to … erm … scrub floors at a New York office as punishment for throwing a phone at maid Ana Scolavino in a hissy fit.
SHE will be the most glamorous, and richest, Mrs Mopp in history…
Naomi Campbell is to be ordered to work as a cleaner in punishment for attacking her maid, it was claimed last night.
The fiery model will sweep floors in a New York office as part of her community service order.
Sources told a US newspaper: “She will have to push a broom inside a city facility for five days.”
But 36-year-old Naomi will escape the humiliation suffered by Boy George who was forced to sweep Manhattan streets in public after making up a burglary. Naomi’s spokesman said: “She is ready to complete this, no matter where or what is assigned.”
The model is expected to learn her fate from a judge this week. In January, she admitted hurling a phone at maid Ana Scolavino. Naomi was also fined £180 and revealed she was having therapy to curb her temper.
Britney Spears reportedly had an argument with estranged husband Kevin Federline between arriving home from her brief skint in rehab last week and shaving her head on Friday night.
According to OK magazine, Kevin was at Britney’s Malibu home with their sons, Sean and Jayden, when Britney arrived home and the two had a fight over Britney’s partying lifestyle.
A source told the magazine: “They had a huge argument. Kevin threatened Britney that he was going to have people test her hair to find out exactly what she’s been up to. She was so scared. That was what made her have her head shaved.”
Sources close to the star have said that she has taken ecstasy, cocaine and powerful anti-anxiety prescription drugs in the past.
Another source told People magazine that Kevin ditched his plans to go to Las Vegas for the NBA All-Star game (and parties) over the weekend to stay in Los Angeles with Britney and their boys: “Kevin is concerned for Britney and his children. Of course he’s concerned about her. He loves her. He’s always loved her – even after she started divorce proceedings.”
However, Britney had other ideas and tried to check herself into the Mondrian Hotel instead. An onlooker revealed that she turned up at the hotel in an electric blue wig: “She tried to book a room but she didn’t have any money or a credit card, just a piece of paper carrying a partial credit card number.”
“She kept saying: ‘Nobody wants me anymore’.”
She was later seen trying to hire a rental car but again was turned away: “The staff were stunned and didn’t know what to do with her.”
Britney checked herself into the Promises Treatment Center in Malibu yesterday morning, reportedly at the urging of her father, Jamie Spears. The two dined together on Sunday night and a source revealed: “Jamie just told Britney how much he loves her and that he wants her to get help. He told her that he’s afraid for her safety and that she needs to take a look at her life and make some major changes.”
According to WENN, Jamie was with Britney when she checked into Promises. The center’s treatment usually involves an immediate detox with 24-hour supervision followed by therapy for, on average, 45 days.
However, Entertainment Tonight is reporting that Britney has repeated last week’s 24 hour stint in Crossroads Center in Antigua by checking out of Promises again this morning.
Pete Bennett (from last year’s Big Brother has released a song called “Nuff Buzzin”. I don’t know if you can buy it from the shop or download it from t’interweb but you can watch the video on Youtube. It’s the future of Rock and Roll, probably.
