There’s a rumour going round that one of the evicted housemates may get the opportunity to be voted back into the Big Brother house during tonight’s eviction show. GAH! Double GAH! If they do that then I want a refund on my phone bill!
Watching TV so you don’t have to!
Archive for the 'Big Brother 7' Category
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There’s going to be another double eviction tomorrow! I’m hoping it’s Mikey and Imogen!
Big Brother was away on holiday in Margate apparently so the nominations were handled by Automated Big Brother, basically a huge number keypad connected to a call centre like voicemail service. Press one for your first nomination, press two for your second … and so on! It went more or less ok until it got to Susie’s turn. She was kept in the diary room so long, that the others thought she’d been evicted. She emerged eventually, looking a bit pale.
“I’m a husk of a woman, they’ve worn me out and I don’t love Big Brother anymore. They threw me in a telephonic abyss. I was parched. And there was supermarket music and it would stop and say ‘You are number seven in the queue’. They were taking the p**** out of me.”
“I waited all the way through and I pressed number one then I went back to the end of the queue. They were doing it to drive me mad!”
That must be about the longest time since being in the house that she’s gone without a cup of tea and a biccy! 
… Michael, his filthy underpants and Spiral! Hurrah! Good bye and good riddance!
Judging by the following story from the official Big Brother site, Glyn’s time in the Big Brother house really has been journey of discovery, a journey of … cough … personal growth!
It can get stressful in the Big Brother House. You might feel tense, pent up, ready to explode. And sometimes there’s only one way to relieve the tension.
Last night, Glyn felt that way. It involved a shower, a condom and a little private time to himself. Oh, and a little present to Big Brother. And now, he’s regretting it.
“A used condom in the Diary Room. Ha ha. I wonder who picked it up,” pondered Imogen about her compatriot’s late-night deposit.
“Oh no,” said Glyn, the realisation dawning on him. “I have to go home in three weeks or less. And my Dad’s going to be like ‘you had a w*** on telly’.”
Pete gave the grinning teenager a thumbs up.
“What am I gonna say in reply?” said Glyn, stumped. There was a long pause.
“It’ll come to you,” said Pete, eventually.
“I’m just gonna go home and say ‘I’ve done things wrong. I’m really sorry’.”
But Pete disagreed: “Nah. Don’t say anything.”
“I know I’m on telly. But I’m living here as well. And it’s been too long,” explained Glyn.
“So you gonna have another one?” asked Pete.
“In front of the cameras this time,” replied Glyn.
“You’ll be called the Welsh w*****,” said Pete.
“Oh no! It couldn’t get any worse,” shrugged Glyn.
We hope not. We really hope not.
Which gives me an excuse to post the following Monty Python lyrics. Mwhahahaha!
DAD:
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I’ve never been one of them.I’m a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They’ll take you as soon as you’re warm.You don’t have to be a six-footer.
You don’t have to have a great brain.
You don’t have to have any clothes on. You’re
A Catholic the moment Dad came,Because
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can’t be found.CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,…
CHILDREN:
…God get quite irate.PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.
BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.
NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed…
CARDINALS:
…In your neighbourhood!CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody’s.
MOURNER #1:
Mine!
MOURNER #2:
And mine!
CORPSE:
And mine!NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O’er mountain, hill, and plain.
HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that’s spilt in vain.EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!
Votetastic! It’s a double eviction tonight. This week the nominees are Imogen and Susie, Michael and Spiral (Booooooooooo) and Pete and Richard. I hope M & S go! They are the bookies favourite, 1/9.
For a change, you have to vote for who you want to stay in which sounds like a sneaky way for Endemol to wring even more money out of us!
Jayne Kitt was evicted from the Big Brother House on Friday! Hurrah!
Probably, the best bit from Big Brother so far! Pete singing his song to Richard during the “friends” song contest!
Hey Dickie this song’s for you
Hey Dickie you know its true
Bald head and make up too
And I want to make love to youStuff your face with my sugary love
Stuff your face with my sugary love
Stuff your face with my sugary loveI’ll treat you mean, if you treat me tough
Hey Dickie, with your hot pants tight, big muscles and diva’s bite
Queen bitch’s putting up a fight,
and she’ll dance right through the nightstuff your face with my sugary love
stuff your face with my sugary love
stuff your face with my sugary loveI’ll treat you mean, if you treat me tough
D! I! C! K! He’s a big gay!
This week’s nominations in the Big Brother house are … shock … horror … Jayne and Richard! Kind of predictable! I don’t really like either of them so I’ll be happy whoever goes! Jayne appears to be favourite to get the boot!
Not content with getting all the housemates nominated, Jayne “The cow from Slough” Kitt has now managed to make sure they’re that they’re going to be hungry and stinky as well! Her punishments so far for not being able to keep her gob shut are the cancelling of the luxury food budget and a ban on hot water for showers and baths!
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